Bittersweet Affinity
by definite
Summary: Sesshoumaru cannot resist the pull of Inuyasha's call. A need, no matter how strongly challenged, must be fulfilled. -yaoi/AU-
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha… Honestly, if I did, would I be spending my time writing fanfiction?

Warnings: This story contains M/M, yaoi, lemon…I think you get the idea.

**Bittersweet Affinity**

_Prologue_

I have longed.

I have pined.

I have desired.

I have wished.

I have craved.

I have hoped against hope.

And I have fought all of these dreadful, weakening feelings every step of the way. These feeble emotions chisel at the barrier surrounding my melancholic heart. It begins to crack at the edges, barely holding back the onslaught of emotions stirring against it.

My feet resolutely carry me onward without my consent, pulling me toward you. Struggle and resist as I might, I press forward. You call to me.

I have hated you.

I have resented you.

I have searched within me for the power to destroy you.

I have attempted to end your life before the feelings you evoke in me become the end of me.

However, I could never find the strength to do what I felt was needed. I curse myself for the pity that hid itself somewhere within, what I thought was my impenetrable heart. How do you manage to affect me so, even when I put great distances and lengths between us?

You abandoned me.

You discarded our ties at the one time I was willing to call upon you.

You deserted me.

You left me…alone.

Don't you see? There is no one else. You and I were all that remained. It pains me that I neglected that fact before, but when I was willing to repent, your selfish deeds denied and betrayed me.

Still, I travel ever closer to you from the west, as you wait in your endless sleep for me. I feel your aura practically singing to me; its enchanting call tempts me closer as it wishes to comfort me and ask forgiveness.

How I've missed you…

How I've been lost without you…

How could I have been so foolish to think I didn't need or want you by my side…

Without you and your boorish activities to terrorize the peaceful lives of those around you and pestering me endlessly, I found myself with little to do each day. Time is endless for our kind, meaning very little to me. But with your noticeable missing presence, the days and months stretched into an eternity.

However, time is certainly non-existent as I near you, my final destination.

I've had the power all along.

I could have freed you at any time.

I knew that no miko's spell, despite its power, was a match for my own spirit.

I chose not to save you…and as a result, we both suffered for our mistakes.

You betrayed me as you threw your affections to the wind and believed to feel something for the very miko who sought to change your noble blood, despite it being soiled by your human heritage.

In return, I betrayed you by ignoring your plight, thinking it a befitting end for you…but we both suffered—you with your endless prison and me with my suffocating loneliness.

My feet have stopped and planted themselves firmly to the earth beneath them. I have reached you…and you're still waiting…just as I left you…

_tbc…_


	2. Greetings

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha… Honestly, if I did, would I be spending my time writing fanfiction?

Warnings: This story contains M/M, yaoi, lemon…I think you get the idea.

**Bittersweet Affinity**

_Greetings_

* * *

_"The fateful slumber floats and flows_

_About the tangle of the rose;_

_But lo! the fated hand and heart_

_To rend the slumberous curse apart!"_ --William Morris

* * *

Greetings, dear little brother.

I have finally returned. Against my better judgment, I stand before you at the edge of the forest bearing your cursed name. My eyes narrow as they scrutinize your appearance. Nothing has changed during this last half century. Your pitiful miko would have been proud of the spell she had placed on you. Nevertheless, her hold over you will crumble with the simplest touch of my hand.

Slowly and passively, I near your motionless body nestled against the sheltering bark of the tree. A thousand thoughts shift and sway through my mind as your scent grows stronger, intoxicating my senses. And for a moment, I am lost; I am drowning in your beckoning aura. It caresses and soothes my loneliness…and I drift.

My honey touched eyes slide lower, a lost, distant look in my gaze. I hear music, such soft, sweet music. It weaves and dances in the light breeze of this night graced with a full moon. You look enchanting as your silver tendrils whisper across your forehead as if calling me.

Feeling something firm in the grasp of my slender hand, my eyes flutter open. I observe the tight hold I have around the arrow embedded in your chest. Yes, it has preserved you perfectly—your innocence, your naivety, your beauty.

A disposition of anger takes over my being, thoughts of hatred whirling toward the deceased miko that did this to you. How much pain has she caused us? How much suffering has been inflicted upon us by her hands? Her former presence in your life boils my blood…humans. What untrustworthy creatures. What greedy, deceitful beings that inhabit this earth. Their same emotional aspects surge through your veins as well. This is the blood that defiles the proud essence of youkai that dwells within you. However, this is a small oversight. I can forgive you for the wretched taint of our father's blood, for without its existence, you would not be the same hanyou that haunts me.

With a determined yank, I pull that blasted arrow from its niche in the bark. It turns to ash in my hands; if it had not, it would have burned from the look of hatred in my glowing eyes. A split second later, your still form slips, and for the first time in half a century, I cradle you gently in my arms.

Cautiously, as I seemingly hold my breath, I brush away the locks on your forehead. My heart begins drumming in a frenzied beat. In the still of the moonlit night, I fear all the world can hear the hammering of my heart. My breath escapes as I let a sigh of relief wash over me. My normally strong limbs quake and tremble at the feeling of you against my chest. I drop to my knees as my form weakly shakes.

A crystalline tear, the first I have shed since our father's death, rolls down my cheek. I am thankful, merely thankful. Your still form is solid and reassuring. You are here…with me, as it should be.

It is then with a slight sharp intake of air, I notice the rise and fall of your chest. You are still asleep, blissfully lost between the land of dreams and the realm of reality. A rare sight is now seen—I smile wistfully at your childlike face. How wrong I was to judge you for the actions of our father, for the innocent participant that was your mother. I cannot hate her for loving a demon, just as I cannot continue loathing our father for his choices. What a burden you must have carried. And like the fool I am, I let you bear it alone.

When you needed assurance, I sneered at your weakness.

When you needed guidance, I sent you away.

When you needed comfort, I laughed at your plight.

When you needed love…I drove you away…

What a fool I am. A few more droplets freely fall from my eyes; they roll down my marked cheeks. One falls from my pale face onto yours.

I tenderly chuckle as your face scrunches up. I shift you in my arms and sit against the tree that sheltered you when I would not. You settle down once more into a light rest; I expect you to stir from it soon. I lean my head back against the bark; my thoughts drift once more to you and your former plight.

Fifty years ago, I had once stood before this tree. My bumbling servant had informed me of your dire situation. A miko had cast a spell on you, sending you into your endless slumber. I had traveled as swiftly as I could to your resting place.

When I arrived to find you pinned to the tree, I became confused with my emotions. Why had I rushed to this spot to reach you? Why should I have cared what became of you? Surely, the miko had done me a favor by ridding me of you. But as I am wont to do, I immediately turned my confusion into resent and anger. You deserved the end that fate had dealt for you. You betrayed me the moment you pledged your affections of that undeserving human filth. I then became enraged that the miko had been the one to end your existence, not fully, but close to it. I was the only one who would decide when you left this world. She had never earned that right. Yet, I wondered why I should free you?

So, unable to find an answer, I retreated from the sight of your resting form, and I never looked back—until you began to haunt my thoughts from afar…

So here I am, finally repenting for my sins that were committed when I turned my back on you so long ago. I let my gaze fall upon your porcelain face. Suddenly, I feel compelled to be closer to you. Your aura pulses again, its sweet, sweet song embracing me. My lips lovingly touch upon your forehead. You begin to stir. Your eyes finally open from your slumber, and you stare at me in wonder.

In a quiet tone, I whisper, "Greetings, dear little brother."

_tbc…_


	3. Revival

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha… Honestly, if I did, would I be spending my time writing fanfiction?

Warnings: This story contains M/M, yaoi, lemon…I think you get the idea.

**Bittersweet Affinity**

_Revival_

* * *

_"Whilst skies are blue and bright,_

_ Whilst flowers are gay,_

_Whilst eyes that change ere night_

_ Make glad the day;_

_Whilst yet the calm hours creep,_

_Dream thou—and from thy sleep_

_ Then wake to weep."_ --Percy Bysshe Shelley

* * *

In that brief moment, your eyes meet mine. A flicker of recognition passes through your gaze, yet you do not struggle in my arms. If anything, the realization that you are in my presence somehow calms your form. Neither of us says a word. You look relaxed, but your eyes remain fixed on my face; you appear to be deciding whether it would be best to stay or flee.

My voice feels as if it has become lost in the darkness of my dry throat. The usual eloquence and ease I have with words has escaped me, and I remain silent. With an uncharacteristic, nervous swallow, I gather my thoughts.

"Are you well, little brother?" I finally say.

With an air of wariness and confusion, you respond, "I think so…what are you doing here?"

At that, my lips turn upward in a small smile. "You beckoned me here."

You continue to stare at me with wonder. "I did? How…?"

"With the help of your youki, your aura sang to me…reaching great distances to make sure I would listen. The nagging guilt I felt within aided in my travels here," I calmly explain to you.

As you think upon this, I look to the stars above and sigh. Absently, I begin to gently rub your downy, white ears. They lightly twitch in my tender grasp, and unknowingly, you lean into my touch. You catch yourself in your actions and try to pull away, hiding your eyes from my own.

My clawed hand grasps your chin to return those twin suns to my sight. Your lip trembles, as your warm breath ghosts over my fingers in the cool air.

"Why even bother to set me free?" You whisper, your voice laced with uncertainty.

I look intently upon your porcelain features and composedly answer, "Trust me, dear brother, I had no intention of waking you from your slumber, at least not until you called to me. Our spirits demanded and yearned for one another—for us to be one."

You shiver in my embrace. Is it from the slight chill the night brings, or is it my words that make you quake?

"So you see, by setting you free…I am setting myself free," I reply, once more brushing your feathery locks from your forehead.

For a moment, all we do is watch each other's faces; we look for any sign emotion. A tense silence wraps around us. Then, tentatively, your smaller hands reach for my face. Your fingertips stroke my cheeks…my markings…my eyelids…my lips…

Beneath your touch, I grow warm. I feel that warm glow spread through my features. Is this what I had denied myself all these years? Is this the feeling in my life I had parted from? Is this what I could have felt if only I was not so foolish and stubborn? Is this...what we can become? This warmth...this wonderful feeling spreading through my limbs. And it is all from just your touch...

In the next instant, your soft lips caress mine as we share our first kiss. My arms tighten around you pulling your warm form closer to my own body. We never part as I slowly lower you to the plush grass beneath us. The waves of green pillow your body, and I hover above you, covering you from sight.

Why it feels so right to hold you in my arms…I do not know.

Why it feels so right to share a heated kiss with you…I am uncertain.

Why it feels so right to have you in my grasp, trembling at my touch…I am unsure.

Why it feels so right…to finally be with you…I cannot fathom.

What I do know…is that I simply feel.

Your arms tighten around my neck, pulling my mouth closer to yours. Persuasively, my tongue skims along your cotton soft lips, and you yield to me. The warmth of your welcoming cavern deeply pleases and comforts my lonely being on so many levels. Your own tongue playfully swats at my own, and the battle between our lips begins. You twist away from mine, only to pull it more fully against yours.

Unsurprisingly, you slightly pull away to access some much needed air. Your breaths are ragged, and your beautiful face is flushed from heat passing between us. I rest my forehead upon your own, enjoying the quiet moment between us, save for the sound of our heavy pants.

I slowly drag a knuckle down the side of your visage. What a wonder you are, little brother. It is ludicrous that I denied what my heart demanded for me to have for this long. What I was thinking or telling myself at the time I decided to ignore your beckoning song, I will never know.

Feeling rather playful, you rub your nose against mine and then begin to nuzzle your face into my neck. Unseen to you, I allow a small smile of content to grace my normally stoic features.

I inwardly sigh as we lie still for the moment, drinking in your presence. By finally relenting to your sweet and enchanting song that your aura put forth, I freed you. After struggling against the need and yearnings for so many years, I had, at last, broken down. How weak I was to give heed to the calls that you sent out from your deep slumber. I resisted, and yet, here I am.

You are lying peacefully beneath me.

Your touch is real.

Your presence is reassuring.

Your feelings are genuine; and still, I cannot place my former animosity toward you completely behind me.

I freed you.

So as some like to say…what goes around comes around.

I freed you, little brother. Help release me from my own chains…help me love you…

_tbc…_


	4. Forgiveness

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha… Honestly, if I did, would I be spending my time writing fanfiction?

Warnings: This story contains M/M, yaoi, lemon…I think you get the idea.

**Bittersweet Affinity**

_Forgiveness_

* * *

_"Ah gentle, subtly changing eyes,_

_You smiled on me one day,_

_And all my life in glad surprise_

_Leaped up, imploring "Stay!"_

_Alas, alas, oh Golden Eyes,_

_So cruel and so gay,_

_You went to shine in other skies,_

_Smiled once and passed away."_ --Adela Florence Nicolson (translated by Laurence Hope)

* * *

I have become lost in this moment we are sharing together. The cool breeze of this fateful night does not penetrate me, for your body gladly gives its heat to me. We have been in this comfortable silence for…I cannot place how much time has passed. It may have been minutes or hour upon hour. Time has stopped since I've held you once more in my arms. 

Lost in my thoughts, you call me back to the here and now. "Sesshoumaru?"

I turn my face to look upon your own. "Yes, little brother?"

"What were you thinking about?" You gently inquire, as you settle more fully into the cushioning blades of grass beneath you.

Sighing, I lie next to you in the waves of green, propping my head up with my arm so I can gaze upon your lovely face. "The past…what was…and what is."

Your face scrunches up in thought as you puzzle over what I have said. Inwardly, I smile at your childlike expression.

Quizzically, you ask, "What does that mean?"

"Trust me, you do not wish for me to elaborate upon the deep ponderings of my mind. Do not trouble yourself over it, Inuyasha," I advise.

At this, for some reason I cannot fathom, you smile. It is a distant smile, as if someone just shared an intimate secret with you. Of course, I cannot help but wonder what has made you look this way at this moment.

I question you. "What is the matter, sweet one?"

"You…you called me by my name…"

For a moment, I remain silent. What possible meaning does this hold for you? So I addressed you by your given name…what relevance does this pose? Then I understand. How like you to take notice at such a slight motion.

"Yes, I did. It's how I should have always addressed you. I apologize for rarely ever doing so before," I say.

Offhandedly, you nod; you still seem to be swimming in the depths of your thoughts. I choose not to interrupt you as you delve among the waves of your mind. We sit once more in silence.

Before long, I once more cannot say how much time has passed, you turn to me. "What happened between us, brother, so many years ago? How did we let this befall upon us?"

As I think upon your question, I absentmindedly caress your ivory skin. I notice you shiver from my touch.

How did we come to lead such separate lives?

How did we allow such a distance to grow between us?

How did we survive without one another?

How did we assume the role of 'enemy' in each other's lives?

How did we lose sight of…us?

I choose my words carefully as I try to clarify things for you…and for me as well.

"Exactly what transpired between us, sweet one, I cannot say. What I do understand is that at some point…a rift was born between us. It pushed us further and further apart, until we no longer recognized one another as 'brother'. What caused this division between us…is lost to me. It has been far too long. Due to this, we must leave it behind. But for whatever did occur…and for my ignorance and foolishness of these last fifty years, I am truly regretful…" I trail off.

What I am about to say next, it is difficult for one as proud as myself.

I whisper in your soft, downy ear, "Can you ever forgive me?"

Your ear swivels as the warm breath I let out tickles its surface. With those eyes of golden rays and a look of trust I do not deserve, you gaze upon me. "Of course…but can you forgive me?"

Elated with your response, I tackle you to the ground as if I was no more than a tiny pup at play. Swiftly, I press my lips anxiously against yours, unable to resist their beckoning appearance any longer. As we break apart, our chests areheaving as they draw in precious air, I murmur in your ear. "There is nothing to forgive, Inuyasha...my sweet one…"

You tightly wrap your arms around my neck in a warm and welcoming embrace. We share another intimate kiss, wrapped in the affection of each other's forms. Slowly, I trail light kisses across your chin. As I sensuously drizzle small pecks down your neck, I hear you sigh, simply content to have me in your arms. I then swirl my tongue in the hollow of your neck, eliciting a whimper from your alluring mouth. Lifting myself up a bit, I plunder your mouth for another sumptuous kiss. I gaze into your eyes…oh, those eyes…

Golden suns filled with warmth.

Amber pools overflowing with life.

Yellow sparks shining with brilliance.

Those eyes that sparkle with a love I have never felt, nor seen. Oh, those beautiful, express eyes. So like my own…but so very different… So enthralling…

You ask me, "Why are you looking at me that way?"

"Does it displease you?"

With a shake of your head, you reply, "No…it's just that…no one's ever looked at me that way before."

"And that is a sin, my sweet one. You should be worshipped for the treasure that you are…"

Even in the illuminated darkness, I can see the tinge of rose gracing your cheeks. How cute...how adorable you are.

"I shall do just that, little brother. I shall revere every part of your being," I declare softly as I bury my nose in your neck to inhale that enchanting scent of yours so I can immerse myself in it.

Now is the opportunity to show to you…

Now is the chance to demonstrate to you…

Now is the time to reveal to you…

Now is the moment to prove to you…how much I love you…

So lie still among these waving wisps of green, as I share with you my heart…

_tbc…_


	5. Unity

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha… Honestly, if I did, would I be spending my time writing fanfiction?

Warnings: This story contains M/M, yaoi, lemon…I think you get the idea.

**Bittersweet Affinity**

_Unity_

* * *

_"Escape me?_

_Never---_

_Beloved!_

_While I am I, and you are you,_

_So long as the world contains us both,_

_Me the loving and you the loth_

_While the one eludes, must the other pursue."_ --Robert Downing

* * *

You look angelic—the moon's lustrous light lending its shine to your ethereal eyes. Beneath me, I feel your body tremble—do you fear me, sweet one? Or do you shake in anticipation of what is promised to come? Never have you looked so innocent or seductive at one time! Always such a paradox, dear brother. 

Your lips quiver, swollen from our languid kisses. Coral lips part as a small, almost inaudible whine escapes them. My wandering eyes caress your form ever so gently, then slide shut, and I nuzzle my nose against your velvety cheek, becoming intoxicated with your lovely presence and your scent laced with mounting desire.

My ardor must be sated.

My demon must be satisfied.

My youki must be appeased.

My heart must be given to you…

As I share with you, may you share with me your heart, my sweet one? My youki—my soul, my spirit claws at my being, clamoring for release. It reaches for you.

With abated breath, I wait for your response, for your answer, for your blessing…for your love.

Yes, I must say it. I cannot deny the demands of my heart or the blissful beckoning of your soul. Your siren's song called me here, and I find myself unable to hold onto the last traces of my animosity for you. I cannot keep pretending you mean nothing to me—little brother, sweet one, cherished one—you and I…we were meant to be.

I did not always think as I do at this time. As you know, we spent much of our lives fighting, quarreling…trying to eradicate one another. I should not feel this way. I once thought you were a mistake—our father's greatest one. And it destroyed him.

He let that human—that Izayoi-hime. What did he ever see in this frail human? What attribute could she possibly have that would ensnare the heart of the most powerful youkai in existence?

Father met his demise for your mother to live—for you to live on that night so long ago when I begged him to reconsider. Was the life of a ningen and a hanyou worth our father's life?

I suppose I shall never know. I do not know whether I should be grateful father sacrificed his life; for if he had not, you would not be here in my arms now. Reflecting upon the past, I see father's wisdom and love for us—his dear sons. His final gift to me…not the Tenseiga or even the Tessaiga…but you, dear little brother. You are the greatest treasure our father could bestow upon me.

And I am forever in his debt…

Returning my thoughts to the present moment, my golden eyes search your glistening gaze for your answer. You stare back in wonder, and I cannot help the lump that forms in my throat. Almost shyly, you dip your head to break our eye contact. I feel your slender, silky hands wind around my neck as you pull me close for a kiss.

I feel the moment your youki joins with mine in joyous accord. Our inner demons expand up and outward from our beings, only to merge together and intertwine as one. So similar to what our physical union will be...

You have released me from the self-imposed chains placed around my heart. You forgive me for my mistakes, as I have forgiven you. Your endless sleep is over, but you must know that our new life together is just beginning. You sigh happily, and I suspect you feel utterly complete, as I do. My lovely angel, you draw me close for another bewitching kiss.

I rain light kisses upon your brow, eyelids, cheeks, nose, lips, and chin. My path continues downward upon your body…

You feel divine…

You taste delicious…

You look radiant…

You hold my fragile heart in your grasp…

I hear you murmur, "Sesshoumaru..."

Oh, how fulfilling it is to hear my name fall from your succulent lips. In return, I whisper your name reverently. "Inuyasha..."

Bringing my face close to yours once more, you raise a finger to trace the crescent moon upon my brow and the markings that glide along my cheeks. Grasping my face tenderly, you shake your head in amazement.

"Why me?" you whisper gently. "Why me, when you could have anyone you desire?"

Smirking, my hands wander to your hips and I give them a knowing squeeze. I feel you shiver once more from my touch.

"Your doubts are foolish, sweet one." I give you a smile and a wink. Why I seem completely unlike my normal, calm self when I am around you is beyond me... "I chose you, little brother, because I desire you, and no one else."

As my gaze wanders up and down your body in an appreciative manner, I whisper in your downy ear, causing it to twitch beneath my warm breath, "And can you blame this Sesshoumaru for desiring you? You have grown to be quite irresistible, my sweet one."

With quite the endearing blush, you turn pink from head to toe, I am sure, and I find it absolutely adorable...and alluring...

My hands leave your hips and one moves to grasp your wrists and pin them above your head. Your eyes widen as I lick my lips, but you quickly recover as you give me a sultry smile. Rapidly, I feel my body warming further at your suggestive smile and gaze.

With a slight growl, I grind my lower body against yours. You gasp and throw your head back in pleasure. Oh yes, this is only the beginning...

"If you have any doubt of my feelings for you, sweet one, here and now, they shall be laid to rest," I firmly state.

You simply smile and nod, tipping your head back and baring your neck as you settle more fully into the bed of grass beneath you.

This resignation of power...

This display of submission...

This denouncement of dominance...

This abandonment of fear...

It sets my soul off like a wildfire, and I know I can no longer delay the inevitable...I shall have you, as my flames of desire and lust for you consumes me...

Beneath this dark, resplendent sky, the stars will witness our true union—our complete, unending physical bond. So little brother, be silent and relax as I worship your body with my devotion for you…

I promise you passion.


	6. Passion

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha… Honestly, if I did, would I be spending my time writing fanfiction?

Warnings: This story contains M/M, yaoi.

**Bittersweet Affinity**

_Passion_

* * *

_"A creature might forget to weep, who bore_

_Thy comfort long, and lose thy love thereby!_

_But love me for love's sake, that evermore_

_Thou may'st love on, through love's eternity."_ --Elizabeth Barrett Browning

* * *

Oh gods above, why do they tease me so? They blessed this world with your angelic presence, your snow white hair as a halo, your alabaster skin as wings, your ethereal eyes as a sign of the eternal warmth within your soul. Curse they who do this to me! This Sesshoumaru sees you for the perfection you are, but to love you, truly love you well, I must regrettably make marks upon your flawless skin, corrupt your unblemished soul, and steal your sweet innocence… 

I long to see your eyes bleed red gazing into mine…

I long to feel your claws in my own flesh…

I long to hear your wanton cries, ringing against my ears…

I long to smell your divine scent intertwined with mine…

I long to taste your blood, your life bared to my fangs…

Most of all, I long to finally make you mine, my sweet Inuyasha.

In a flurry of movements and passing moments, your skin and body are unhindered by concealing red robes, your pale flesh shining in the light of the moon above. I, too, find myself freed from restricting clothes, finally able to feel your skin up my own. As I slowly ease my lithe body over yours, I see you quiver and shake, your hands reaching for me. Very quickly, you pull me against you tightly, cradling my head close to your chest. Your claws run slowly through my hair, soothing upon my head, and my sensitive ears strain to hear your lyrical voice as it whispers…

"I love you, Sesshoumaru…"

Barely a whisper, almost lost on the wind, even as I am so close to you, but I still hear your soft words, your warm breath across my face. Pulling away from your enticing embrace, I hold myself still over you and whisper in return…

"And I you, sweet one. Never allow doubt to linger in your thoughts. My heart belongs to you."

Those words.

Words of love.

Love and tenderness.

Tenderness and joy.

Joyous feelings.

Feelings of fulfillment.

Fulfilling a promise…a promise I once made long ago. A promise to our father I would look after you. One I had failed to uphold time and time again as we met in the past and clashed claws and swords. A small part of my mind still questions my ardor for you—calling it lust. Calling it demonic desire. It tells me I should hate you. I should destroy you.

Father made me promise to care for you. To cherish you. He called you a gift, while I preferred to call you a curse. That seems so long ago. Suddenly, your presence in this world took my life and twisted its once proud purpose—my divine right to rule and to call my father's treasures my own. I never expected you to be one of them.

But in this moment, just the sight of you here beneath me banishes all my fears and dark thoughts. Father had tried to explain it to me before he was gone. He told me he could not change the way things were. I did not understand why he wanted me to welcome your arrival to this world. Why would I wish for something so weak to be a part of me? I decided then and there to never give you a second glance, save destroy you if you crossed me.

I suppose this feeling will always linger within. Within a part of myself that can never be eradicated…the shadow of a crimson-eyed monster screaming for your blood upon my hands. This same inner hatred for you that remains…it despises you. It loathes that our youki have merged and become one. It clamors for release so it may kill you before we can physically unite. It is afraid of you, my sweet Inuyasha. Oh yes, it fears that you will swallow whatever darkness remains within. Despite its presence, it cannot stop this. You long for me, as I still long for you.

Such heavy thoughts and things should remain locked in the deepest recesses of my mind. I will not allow them to touch you. I will not allow them to sully our newfound connection…our love.

To aid in ridding my mind of our dark past, I set myself to the task of making your lips sufficiently bruised, allowing my lips to caress them and kiss you quite thoroughly. My tongue traces your petal-soft lips, smooth as those of a rose. It continues its assault upon your mouth and plunges in to feel your own slick tongue, rough against my own. They twist and press hungrily against one another, a tension begins to build. My Inuyasha, you are certainly eager to explore the recesses of my mouth, as I am determined to know yours quite well. Panting, I pull away, reveling at how exhilarating it is to be able to taste you this way. You moan in desire as I suck feverishly at your neck until an angry, red mark appears. My tongue slides along your throat, resting upon your pulse as it beats wildly.

"Nnh, Sesshoumaru!" you gasp out, as my lips find one of your rounded nipples. So round, so smooth, so delectable. I press myself closer to you and revel at the heat radiating between us as our bodies come into a fuller contact. Skin on skin…oh the heat!

As I continue to lavish attention in the form of kisses, sensuous licks, and playful bites, my hands are also busy. Ghosting my claws down your sides, one hand travels further lower still. My hand brushes lightly, ever so lightly, over your swelling arousal. Excited, are we, little brother?

"Inu—yasha!" I force out, bowing my head causing my nose to brush against your toned chest. In retaliation, I suppose, for my teasing touches, you have scraped your claws swiftly down my back, followed by an obscene groping of my bottom.

Growling, I lift my gaze to your face. My eyes widen as you smile. Is that a smirk? How devious, little brother.

Smiling cruelly, I raise myself onto my forearms, hovering above you. Your triumphant grin lessens, finally giving way into a frown.

"I dare say, dear brother, you must be punished for being so impatient."

For a brief moment, I see a slight fear pass through your eyes, and instantly, I place soft kisses across your brow. Tapping you on the nose, I lean forward to whisper in your twitching ear.

"Worry not, sweet one. You need not fear this Sesshoumaru."

I feel the tension leave your body once more, and you relax fully into the cushioning blades of grass beneath you.

Still close to your ear, I lick the outer edge and you shudder enticingly beneath me.

"I assure you…this punishment will be most pleasurable," I murmur in a low tone.

You shiver and whine while I crawl down the length of your delicious body, open fully to my needs and gaze. I blow gently upon your arousal, before languidly allowing my tongue to dart across its length. So slick, so needy…

Before you have a chance to process any more of these sensations, I viciously grasp your hips and plunge your length into my mouth. Thoroughly lavishing attention upon your trembling member, your hips frantically arch up, into what I imagine to be quite the interesting feeling. Your claws dig into my head, holding me tightly. As if I would leave!

Inwardly, I allow a chuckle at my choice of words. I am quite sure _interesting_ does not begin to explain how you must be feeling. No, not right at all…for at this very moment, as I apply more pressure with my mouth, you release a—

Breathy moan…

Keening sigh…

Wanton yell…

Heated growl…

Desperate cry…

Shaky howl…

Oh my, Inuyasha, this symphony of sounds is music to my ears.

Moments pass by, the night filled with your continued noises, and I feel my temperature rising. It will not be long before my own ardor must be sated, my desire must be satisfied, my lust must be satiated. With a flick of my tongue and the right amount of cruel pressure, you call out into the night, a release of bliss and completion. Oh sweet one, your gasping breaths are affecting me more than you know. This Sesshoumaru cannot wait a moment longer.

Gracefully making my way up to your plump lips, my tongue delves past them to take a luscious sampling of your divine taste. You drag your claws so slowly up and down my back, pulling me close into a warm and loving embrace. Your sinewy legs wrap around my waist, and now it is my turn to groan, as our members come into contact. I thrust my hips forward, if only to tease your arousal back to life. Which I note, with some amusement, has hardened quite quickly…

You pull my attention away from biting your neck and swimming within your heavenly scent, holding my face within your gentle grasp. Stroking my markings, tracing their edges, you say to me...

"Sesshoumaru, please…brother…make us one."

I tremble at your words and for a brief pause of time, I still, feeling my eyes bleed crimson, my youki coming to the fore. Your words, your sweet plea, Inuyasha…

I come undone.

In a frenzy of claws, fangs, and desperate touches, my arousal finds its way to your tight entrance. Oh my cherished one, I am too far gone to save you from this pain!

Forgive me…

Entering you with one swift thrust, I immediately begin melding our bodies into a sensual dance of intertwining limbs. You do not seem to mind the pain at being so forcefully penetrated, as you release one throaty moan after another, pleading with me for more, and for that, I am thankful. However, needless to say, I am soon lost to the rhythm of our bodies. The heat is building so quickly…

How much time has passed?

Seconds? Minutes? Hours?

How much time have I wasted away from you?

Days? Weeks? Years? Centuries, perhaps. What a fool I am…

Yes, so sweet, so tight, so good! Delicious, delectable, divine, oh so perfect.

Sweet one, we truly were made for one another as our bodies push and pull in an incredibly gratifying manner…

Push and pull…

The very way of life.

We are engrossed in a wet and smooth kiss, as you arch up into me suddenly, eyes widening, flashing red. So you have reached heaven, my angel? I may be a demon, but I shall reach those heights with you…

Once fluid thrusts turn harsh and fast as I urge my body to reach yours in a shattering bliss. I climb higher and higher, vaguely aware of the sudden image of your slender neck bared before my poised fangs…

So quickly and suddenly, I feel myself falling. Falling from unimaginable heights, pulsing pleasure through every fiber of my being, tendrils of desire stroking my body, my very core. Falling back into your arms, right where I belong…

Sweaty and tired as we are, you never stop whispering words of contentment and comfort into my ear. I gather you close, stroking your head, your ears…

Inuyasha, you breathlessly sigh, and I feeling myself tingle as aftershocks of pleasure continue to strike and assualt my senses. Your grip on me tightens and your shining eyes are clenched shut, finding the intensity gradually fading. The lure of sleep almost becomes unbearable for you, utterly exhausted as you are. With a gentle hand, I brush white locks from your forehead. Your eyes flutter open and smile so innocently at me. Perhaps I have not sullied you quite as much as I thought I would, sweet heavenly being.

Quite adorably, you let out a yawn you are unable to suppress. My arms surround you in a protective hold, murmuring to you, encouraging you to fall into sleep's call.

"Sleep, Inuyasha. Let dreams beckon you away," I say.

In response, I feel you wearily nod against my chest, nuzzling my flesh. I, too, feel quite spent, but so wonderfully complete. Allowing my own eyes to drift shut, I search for the abyss of sleep.

So softly, so softly, you whisper, "I love you, Sesshoumaru."

I return the sentiment quietly. If only you knew, little brother.

My Inuyasha.

My sweet one.

My cherished one.

My life.

I shall love you _forever_…and a day.

-fin-

* * *

A/N: This is the final chapter of Bittersweet Affinity. Thank you, dear readers, for your patience. Hope you enjoyed the story.

Much love and peace, _definite_


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